I am well versed in the language of shame. I speak it fluently, both dialects: implicit and explicit.
When you first attend a church, you do not know which dialect they speak. It could be the directly expressed language of ‘worthless sinner, deserving of hell’, or, it might be the passive-aggressive hidden messages of shame. The latter is far more difficult to recognize out right. But if you are reading, say, a private, Seminary resident facebook group message stating the obvious (the rules) and not blaming (totally blaming) any individual of an infraction? Bingo! You just found yourself immersed in, yet another, church culture of shame.
Shame is used to control other people. There is no other purpose for its use. If you are a respecter of personhood, you would rather crucify yourself than use the language of shame. Because it is demeaning and dehumanizing.
You know what? The Gospels are very much devoid of shame. Maybe, just–maybe– if we read them more often, and truly immersed ourselves in them, we would no longer feel compelled to control other people. Ergo, no more use for shame in our midst?
Just a suggestion.
Will you guys at least THINK on it?