My voice

There was a time when I didn’t have a voice. 

It was a time when my feelings would howl inside me like a prairie wind, sweeping my thoughts to and fro. I was a mess.

It may surprise you that someone now speaking with such confidence and assurance was once a scared little bird. But after Religion tried to silence me, and my father was all to willing to seek that same control over me. Then it was the rest of the world that seemed too busy to bother with a broken-winged creature like me. So God stepped in.

I think, maybe, I see and speak the truth now because I spent so much of my life being fed lies and told to hush. I wasn’t always able to halt the flurry of words that tumble out of my mouth…And in the past, my words were met with punishment. Ok, sometimes people still try to punish me for what I say (hello, Seminary). But it’s no longer the same. In Christ, there is no more fear of punishment. Whatever anyone says or does to me, I can handle it. Because He can handle it.

That’s my Christian Liberty. I can risk using my voice because, no matter  how badly I may come across, or how ugly I may come across, nothing can take Christ away from me. That’s the beautiful reason behind why I keep speaking, even when I find myself shouting and fighting back tears 🙂 Each time I dare to face the brute force of the wind to untangle my thoughts, and use my voice,  I learn something new about myself and others. In that way, I’m always being made new. 

Some day I will perfect the use of my voice. While the wind will always rage inside of me… I still find things of value to pull from it. I’m content in growing and learning and apologizing and making amends. I’m content with being human. Humility is very becoming when worn by imperfect human beings. I should know, as I have to don it often;)

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