The downside of posing questions to God? He’s gonna come back with answers… And, I don’t always like His answers, truth be told;)
This time the answer was: I’ve been neglecting my spiritual practices.
I used to practice contemplative prayer/meditation every. single. day. Even though it didn’t do much directly to my intellectual or physical being, it had become the foundation for caring for the other aspects of what is human me.
And…. I stopped it completely after I withdrew from Seminary. Likely because I’ve been kinda pissed off at God since then. And I was going to show Him just how angry I was….
….I’m such a tool.
No, really, I am.
In my wounded state, I’ve tried to hide from God.
And to distract from that, I started to write about God via this blog. While, at the same time, giving Him the spiritual cold shoulder.
Well. I guess I’m going to have to fix this spiritual rift, since I’m the one that caused it.
Alrighty then… It’s about time I give up on being a complete tool…
Being human is still hard.