Spiritual Practices

The downside of posing questions to God? He’s gonna come back with answers… And, I don’t always like His answers, truth be told;)

This time the answer was: I’ve been neglecting my spiritual practices

I used to practice contemplative prayer/meditation every. single. day. Even though it didn’t do much  directly to my  intellectual or physical being, it had become the foundation for caring for the other aspects of what is human me. 

And…. I stopped it completely after I withdrew from Seminary. Likely because I’ve been kinda pissed off at God since then.  And I was going to show Him just how angry I was….

….I’m such a tool. 

No, really, I am. 

In my wounded state, I’ve tried to hide from God. 

And to distract from that, I started to write about God via this blog. While, at the same time, giving Him the spiritual cold shoulder. 

Well. I guess I’m going to have to fix this spiritual rift, since I’m the one that caused it.

Alrighty then… It’s about time I give up on being a complete tool… 

Being human is still hard.

 Just sayin’.


9 thoughts on “Spiritual Practices

  1. I’ve been in a spiritual chasm myself … I keep on looking up at this steep wall wondering if I have the strength to make it even half-way. At first, I didn’t even notice … and now, I’m just in too deep. Anyway, I said all that to say that I’m glad that you’re patching things up at the rift stage because it’s so much easier.

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    1. I’ve been where you are… St. John of the Cross called it “The Dark Night of the Soul”. It was the single most challenging period in my spiritual life. To think that, after surviving all of that, I have the gumption to stick my tongue out at God…

      It really is a beautiful thing though– to be so confident in God’s love for me to risk being angry. The past several months for me have been much like Jonah chapter 4. I’ve laughed my arse off at Jonah’s stubbornness before. But only because I didn’t realize how stubborn I myself could be.
      Thank God HE doesn’t hold grudges, lol!


      1. I also considered it a spiritual evolution; after all, I started off the typical church kid, being taught the kiddie version, then taught the teen version, then thrown into the adult (complementarian) version – only to be frustrated by being so excluded. I think that at this point, this is really the first time I get to discover it for myself, not some pre-packaged set of explanations that fully explain God (as if that’s even possible.) Maybe it’s the same for you. Finding out who and what God is apart from the usual sources – after all, it’s supposed to be a personal relationship and any true personal relationship is bound to get bumpy and frustrating. After all, Jonah got some face-time with God for all that he went through. I think the rest of us wouldn’t mind that.

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      2. Yes! Very much like my own journey… I think of Jacob as well, and the night he wrestled with God. For some of us, our journey towards a personal knowledge of God is a pot-hole strewn path.

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  2. One more thought on your comments here, before I wrastle kiddos into bed…

    The metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly– what most people don’t realize is that those caterpillars cocoon themselves in, only to emerge as a bigger, fatter caterpillar. It’s called instars. The number of times they do this differs between species… But I think of my own spiritual growth, and how many times I wrestled out of my cocoon only to find that I was just a bigger, hungrier tool, lol! Some day, we will grow wings and flit away. For me at least, today is not that day;)

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