With The Fury of A Thousand Suns

Today I finally sat down to read the statement Brock Turner’s victim read aloud in court. You can read it here.

This woman has used her words in such a powerful way. She describes in detail how the sexual assault, and the year long trial that followed, derailed her entire life. 

And, I’m angry. She deserves real Justice. Her attacker’s sentence is a joke! 

But it’s more than just anger– it’s a fury. With the destructive power of a thousand blazing Suns. 

I try not to tap into this fury often. It’s destructive power has the potential to take me down me as well. 

Those that have been unfortunate enough to have it unleashed in their presence… Well… They try never to cross me again.

If my Survivor’s fury had the potential to manifest Karmic justice in the Universe, I would have heard of it on the News by now. The headlines would read something like: “Young man struck by lightning repeatedly on cloudless day”.

The question is, can I use my fury for good? Is that even possible? It seems like such a waste– so much feminine power and no way for me to harness it.

Good Christians don’t get angry, do they? Ha. I stopped trying to be a good Christian a long time ago. So, there’s that.

Maybe there is a cause that I could pour my fury into…

 I’m going to contemplate that for awhile. Perhaps my fury rears its fiery head again because it wants to be made useful.

Any thoughts? I’m kind of fumbling in the darkness here… 

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2 thoughts on “With The Fury of A Thousand Suns

  1. I have the same kind of survivor rage and fury that you describe and as you say it’s very difficult to know how best to channel it. It sounds like your mind is open to seeking a cause or an outlet. I had thought of volunteering at a rape crisis centre but I know my anger in empathy for the victims would make me very ill. It can retraumatise you, continually being involved in a charitable cause that is similar to your personal experiences, HOWEVER, who better else to help than someone who knows exactly how that person feels because of your lived experience. Could you do advocacy work where you assertively communicate for or represent people so they are listened to, kinda like being a lawyer, but for good causes of any description? I don’t know how to advise you really. I’m still figuring out how to channel my anger myself! The other option is to do something that is opposite, like doing very calming soothing therapeutic work like art therapy, or gardening groups, or community projects that are chilled out and calm you as much as the people you’re helping? I don’t know, just throwing some ideas out there! 💙💙 best of luck working it out xxx

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