I don’t really know what I’m doing here. But somehow, it’s important work.
In the Christian tradition, progress along our spiritual path is referred to as Sanctification. It is not something we do for ourselves. It is the Divine working in us. All it requires is our continual submission to this inner work of the Spirit in our souls.
That’s one of Christianity’s major draws– it understands that only God can perfect what God has made. Human strivings are often peripheral to, sometimes even an interference with, the work of the Spirit.
There is no way for us to short-cut this process. There are no quick fixes or miracle cures for the human soul. There is Grace, and much of it, but as long as we live in this world, we are going to have some tough goings.
I really want a quick fix. A miraculous conversion story to awe people with.
There’s just me, waiting on God… Again…
Sure, I’ve become better at practicing mindfulness. My spiritual sight has greatly improved over time. My prayers get answered in ways I cannot comprehend!
But the human part of me yearns for cataclysmic displays of Divine Love and Power.” C’mon, God, I know You could do this… What gives?”
I know that my God is a God of the particulars. He is always and everyday a part of my daily life.
“But that’s boring, God! I want excitement!”
And I can see myself as one of the Isrealites in their 40-year wandering in the desert. And I am complaining “what? Manna from heaven AGAIN?! I’m so sick of Manna, God. Seriously. C’mon, God! I know you can do this… What gives?”
I’d like to think that I’m above making the same mistakes the children of God made 4,000 years ago… Yet, here I am. Complaining about the miraculous ways God shows His provision for me. Because, basically, I’m still an @sshole…
Someday, God will have completed His work in me. And then, hopefully, I’ll understand why the excruciating wait has been worth my commitment.
Until then, I’ll just try to suck it up. And try to be less of an @sshole, as I find myself able.( I’m trying so hard to not be one all the time… And it’s exhausting). I’ve had intermittent success. Just goes to show you, God, you may want to speed up your perfecting process…