“I shall see his vindication”

Three weeks of shutting out the noise and distraction of the world has done my soul good. Although, I have started to  miss my dear blogger friends! 

In my time away, I am rediscovering the path to that hidden place of strength and security in my God. That place where I cannot be shaken. Where no evil or fear– outside of my own– can reach me. 

And it is time to take on my own evil and fear. 

My secret evil (er, not-so-secret if you’ve followed this blog for any amount of time…) is that I do not put my trust unequivocally in the One I purport to follow. 

But, I’ve decided I am going to go all in. 

God has had enough of my divided heart and mind. He’s sent a good number of trials to convince me that it is to my benefit to trust in Him alone. And, as I’m kind of weary of trials, I’m all about mastering this lesson now (before He decides to ‘convince’ me further …).

It is so very unnatural for me to trust in the manner He calls me to trust Him. But at the same time, if I can trust God with my eternal well being, doesn’t it stand to reason that I should be able to trust God with my temporal well being? I mean, if I’m going to hold back from trusting, you’d think it would be the aspect of an unseen, unquantifiable  eternal destiny that I should be balking at, am I right?

Ah, to be a human being in a fallen world. Our priorities are all kinds of distorted!

God has shown me glimpses of who I am on my way to becoming. They are frightening and exciting and practically absurd. I’m not quite there yet, but I have no doubt that the pain of the last few years of trials will soon turn into something beautiful. 

Something holy.

I know God can pull this off. I know that He alone can turn my mourning into dancing. 

And I know He will.

In the meantime, I am still in the process of discerning the future of this blog. It’s real and raw and even uncouth at times, but I think there is still value in it. Even if it just remains here as bread crumbs along the path I’ve travelled:)

 I’ll close with a passage from my personal Bible study that rang loud and clear in my heart this morning:

“Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy;

    when I fall, I shall rise;

when I sit in darkness,

    the Lord will be a light to me.

I must bear the indignation of the Lord,

    because I have sinned against him,

until he takes my side

    and executes judgment for me.

He will bring me out to the light;

    I shall see his vindication.”

Micah 7:8-9 (NRSV, emphasis mine)


13 thoughts on ““I shall see his vindication”

    1. Indeed!
      When the right relationship with God is one accomplished only in and through Christ, we are always going to be dependent. We will never get to rest on our laurels. In choosing to desire God’s will for us, we no longer get to be the masters of our own destiny, and this goes against cultural mores– especially post-modern American ones.
      So what should be so natural to us , challenges everything the world has told us is true about ourselves. That’s a scary place to be– to question absolutely everything about who we are, in order to see more clearly who God is. But I think it’s a terrain we all need to traverse in order to find the complete peace and joy Christ promises.


      1. I wonder if it SHOULD feel natural. Yes, our culture is antithetical to the Eastern, Hebrew mindset needed to embrace Christianity, but I think our inherent selfish nature, our “old man” as Paul describes it, will never want to follow. That’s why we have to die to him daily. The new man wants to follow, but we have both natures warring for control inside us.

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      2. That would certainly add yet another layer of meaning to the life of Christ– God quite literally had to come down here and show us by example how human beings ought to submit to His will, though it be an uncomfortable and even painful experience.


      3. The animal part of our nature– our inheritance of the reptilian brain, if you will– is bent on survival at any cost. My question is, is that the only source of our wicked inclinations? Or, does it have a spiritual source as well?


    1. Thank you for your words of encouragement and praise!
      Oh how I wish that the faith I desire could come about without hardship, lol! Perhaps the seed of faith is planted in peace and joy, but it’s growth and maturity is inextricably bound to the experience of adversity in this life.
      Not that I could do better than God…. But, couldn’t there be an easier way? I’d give up human freedom in a heart beat if it would result in a lack of discomfort;)

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