I just love it when I casually open my Bible and read a passage so excellently fitting to my situation. It’s as if the Spirit lifted the words off of the page and started writing them directly onto my heart.
This was my experience today. And this is the passage:
“I will go before you and level the mountains,
I will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut through the bars of iron,
I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches hidden in secret places,
So that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.”
Isaiah 45:2-3 (NRSV)
As I pack up our wordly possessions (for the fourth time since Spring of 2014), I have to wonder what this next season of life will bring with it.
My life doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me yet. There is definitely the beginnings of a story arc, but on this side of heaven, it seems more like one belonging to a Kafka novel than one by John Irving (two of my favorite 20th century authors, if you’re wondering).
But then I remember my story is not my own. As someone that has committed (and recommitted) my life to Christ, I’ve given up my rights to this story. I no longer live for me. That’s the cost of discipleship– the story of our lives is now co-authored by God.
God is a master storyteller. His use of metaphor is unparalleled. I’m very lucky to have such a strong talent on my writing team!
Our co-authored stories begin the moment we are called by name. When God knocks on the doors of our heart, calling us to participate in the Divine Life, and we answer “Here I am!”… we lose the ability to predict the ways our story will play out. At best, we know it ends in a happily ever after. The distance from today until then remains a mystery. For us, anyway.
I happen to like mysteries, and I love a good story. To sit back and observe one’s story play out on the stage of life is a great privilege! Far too many human beings miss out on observing the Creator in action, while busying themselves with writing their story alone. Authoring one’s story, never knowing when they will run out of paper and ink, seems hellish to me…. too much responsibility. Too much room for error. Too little time.
As crazy as life can get from time to time, I know that I’m where I’m supposed to be, doing what I should be doing, learning and growing on God’s schedule. Even if I’m not liking what currently is, I have hope that each day is woven into a grander tapestry. There is a lot of inner peace found in embracing this truth. I need to recall it more often!
Though I’m anxious and somewhat uncertain, I trust that God will bring me and mine where He wills, in His perfect timing. I’ll get back to doing my part, playing the role of supporting character and refrain from second guessing the narrative every time things get dicey. For reals this time;)