This will be my last blogpost for awhile. We will be leaving Iowa tomorrow, and I haven’t set up internet at the new place. On purpose, because…
I need transition time.
I found myself overwhelmed by emotion tonight. This place… this place has been a spiritual training ground for me. I will not miss it one bit.
Reflecting upon the circumstances surrounding how we got here, I realized, it was only because I wasn’t listening.
I wanted a bigger house.
I relished the idea of being a big fish in a small pond.
Funny story… my Woodsman was offered a job in Northwoods Wisconsin several weeks after starting his job in Iowa. I’m the one that voted for Iowa. And, I did it out of pure selfishness. My Iowa exile has been all me.
Praise God for second chances!
You see, I was born with an indomitable will. I played nice with my tyrannical father, but only as long as it suited me. To put it bluntly, I do what I want. It’s always been that way. Where there is a will, there is a way, and no one stands a chance in opposition to my will.
Iowa changed all that. Because, God has always humored me. He lets me have my way, even when my way is the wrong way.
God has never given up on me. But He must have known the heartache in store for me here…
Too bad I wasn’t listening back then.
This place taught me how small and still the voice of God can be. God isn’t like us– He doesn’t insist on His own way (1 Corinthians 13:5).
God merely hems me in, behind and before, if I let Him (Psalm 139:5).
Now… now, I know.
I know how quickly and easily I can cut God off. I don’t even realize it until later…Until I’ve screwed it all up.
I know I’m a bit older now, and I hope a bit wiser, but most of all I’m a better listener.
If God was like us, He totally would have just let me make my own bed and then forced me to sleep in it.
God isn’t like us.
Where we see endings, He sees new beginning. Where we see finality, He sees possibilities.
I’ve fallen totally head over heels for God.
Not only does He get me, He makes room for me to make mistakes. He doesn’t shame me over them either– but gives me opportunity to regard Him out of my freedom rather than demanding obedience.
I like God. A whole lot.
If nothing else, Iowa taught me how worthy He is of my complete love and allegiance.
And for that, I’m eternally grateful.