It’s time 

Healing from life’s hurts takes time. And I hate that about life lived here.
I want healing now. Not later on down the road, but right here, right now, exactly where I’m at.

The past few months have been very tough on me. You see, healing is toil  before it is reward. I know this, because I’ve walked this path before. The only way out of pain is through it. Blah, blah, blah…I can accept this truth without having to like it!

What I’ve learned in this season is how much work it is to endure. For me it has been necessary to pick up my cross daily as I follow my Beloved. A daily sacrificing of the fullness of life I can see just over the horizon in order to live through the life I have today. It hasn’t been fun. Not that trials are supposed to be anything other than toil… I’m just saying that trials are far more trying than I imagined them to be before I was privileged enough to encounter my own. 

Everyday I pray for strength. And, before you mistake my honesty for piety, I also pray something to the effect of “Lord, can this just be over with now? Pretty please? This sucks so much!!” 

I can sense in my heart that I’m nearing the end of whatever it is that I’ve been walking through. Which is good, right? I think it’s good… but I’m not quite out of the woods yet. God’s unmistakable word to me this week is “break up your fallow ground”. Unmistakable because the last two times I’ve opened up my Bible, and glanced at the passage right in front of me, this phrase popped off the page. Since it only appears in two places in the Bible (Hosea 10:12, Jeremiah 4:3) it’s safe to say it holds special import for me. 

At this point though, it comes across less like an invitation to follow the Spirit into the next season of my spiritual life and more like, well, more work. Ugh! Perhaps my natural inclination towards cynicism is finally getting the best of me…

In any event, God is still good–even when I’m cranky and feeling spiritually exhausted. He’s proven to be especially patient with me when practicing patient endurance is the lesson of  the hour. 

I am grateful to a loving God that endures with me as He teaches me how to endure. Ok! I guess now it’s time to break up my fallow ground. Yay me! At last, the breeze no longer bears a winter chill, but the promise of a changing of the seasons. 

So, someone hand me a shovel already!

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20 thoughts on “It’s time 

      1. Right?! As a fellow gardener, breaking into the soil each Spring is one of my favorite tasks. I’m obsessed with composting as well.., wish I could come up with some insightful spiritual metaphors for that particular obsession, lol! Maybe they’ll come to me later on in the season;)

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  1. Awwww Kristen, hugs to you! God knows the path you take. He knows it’s hard. He knows our frame that we are like dust, so your impatience is not new to him. I love that you already know it. That you still see his goodness even in afflictions. I pray that should God afflict me, that I too will remember what Job said and like him say: “Shall I receive good at the hand of God, and shall I not receive evil?” Job 2:10 Go ahead Kristen, grab your shovel and break up that fallow ground. I’ll be praying for you my sister.

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  2. As a new follower, I appreciate you honest transparency when you write. It’s brings me to similar situations in my own life. My struggle during personal trials is finding God and His reason. (Job 23:3) Let me assure you there is treasure on the other end.(v10).

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    1. I think I struggle most with the fact that I can’t control the nature more the type of trials that come. I get no choice in the matter, and that often feels a lot like cruelty on God’s part, even though I know that my God is not cruel. One day we will not longer face trials, and our sorrow shall turn into joy. I’m really looking forward to that:) Thanks for commenting!

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      1. I think another way you can think about it is in the realm of faith. Not your faith in God so much but God’s faith in you. Every time we are tried we are placed at risk. Satan’s access to Job was limited. He is on a short leash when we are tried and the results are always victorious and fruitful. Romans 8:28-29

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  3. I really love the realness in your posts. My Lord, i was just reading another blog also and I tell you I am truly blessed. Please keep posting I’m saving these up for a storm. I don’t want any storms though, but it won’t kill me to stack up on supplies lol.

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